Its a KEEN life

FADE IN, SHOWING GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE ROD SERLING
SERLING: "Tonight's fanfiction of the Tick is somewhat unique and calls for a different kind of introduction. This, as you may recognize, is a map of the United States, and there's a little town there called Peaksville. On a given morning not too long ago, the rest of the world disappeared and Peaksville was left all alone. Its inhabitants were never sure whether the world was destroyed and only peaksville left untouched or whether the village had somehow been taken away. They were, on the other hand, sure of one thing: the cause. A monster had arrived in the village. Just by using his mind, he took away the automobiles, the electricity, the machines, because they displeased him, and he moved the entire community back into the dark ages. Just by using his mind.
Now I'd like to introduce you to some of the people of Peaksville, Ohio. This is Mr. Fremont. It's in his farmhouse that the monster resides. This is Mrs. Fremont. And this is Aunt Amy, who probably had more control over the monster in the beginning than almost anyone. But one day she forgot. She began to sing aloud. Now, the monster doesn't like singing, so his mind snapped at her, and turned her into the smiling, vacant thing you're looking at now. She sings no more. And you'll note that the people in Peaksville, Ohio, have to smile.They have to think happy thoughts and say happy things because, once displeased, the monster can wish them into a cornfield or change them into a grotesque walking horror. This particular monster can read minds you see. He knows every thought, he can feel every emotion. Oh yes, I did forget something didn't I.  This is the monster. His name is Anthony Fremont. He's six years old, with a cute little-boy face and blue, guiless eyes. But when those eyes look at you, you'd better start thinking happy thoughts, because the mind behind them is absolutely in charge. Now you are probably asking yourself… what does this have to do with the Tick?

SHOW MUD SUDDENLY SPLASHING ONTO GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE ROD SERLING.  CUT IMMEDIATELY TO THE TICK AND ARTHUR IN ARTHUR'S SISTER'S CAR, WHICH WAS CAUSE OF THE MUD SPLASH.  ARTHUR IS DRIVING, THE TICK IS TRYING TO UNFOLD AND READ A ROADMAP AT THE SAME TIME WHILE HIS ELBOW IS BUTTING IN TO ARTHUR.

ARTHUR:"Tick!  Watch it!"

TICK:"Sorry about that Arthur.  Confound it!  This terrible tome of traveling is impossible to operate!  Wait, here we go… ACCIDENTLY JABS HIS ELBOW INTO ARTHUR Oops, sorry chum!

CAR THEN SWERVES.  ARTHUR SCREAMS HELPLESSLEY AS CAR SLIDES INTO A MUDDY DITCH.

A FEW MINUTES PASS.  THE TICK IS LIFTING THE CAR BY THE FENDER AS ARTHUR IS EXAMINING THE UNDERSIDE.  IN THE BACKGROUND, WE CAN SEE ANTHONY FREMONT WATCHING THE TICK WITH INTEREST.

ARTHUR:  Oh no, we definitely have a flat!  My sister's going to kill me!

TICK (Ashamed): I'm sorry about that Arthur, if I hadn't elbowed you…

ARTHUR:  It's not your fault.  We should have stuck to the highway.  That's the last time I take directions from Die Fledermaus.

TICK:  Well he SAID it was a scenic route!

ARTHUR:  Are you kidding me? Look at these roads!  They look like they haven't been paved in ages!

THE TICK LOOKS AROUND TO CONFIRM THIS WHEN HE SPOTS ANTHONY.  HE THEN SMILES AND CALLS OUT TO HIM.

TICK:  Hello Young citizen!  What brings you out here?

ANTHONY LOOKS AT THE TICK AND RESPONDS.

ANTHONY:  You look funny looking.  I like funny looking things!

TICK:  Heh, I am the Tick!  And under this vehicle of vengance is my trusted sidekick Arthur.

ARTHUR:  Tick?  Who are you talking to?

TICK: Why, this young citizen over here…  THE TICK ACCIDENTLY LOWERS THE VEHICLE SLIGHTLY ON ARTHUR, CAUSING HIM TO SCREAM IN PAIN

ARTHUR:  OWWWWWWW!!!!  TICK!!!!!!

THE TICK, REALIZING HIS ERROR, RAISES THE VEHICLE SO ARTHUR CAN CRAWL OUT FROM UNDER IT.  ARTHUR EMERGES, PARTIALLY DIRTY, TRYING TO GET HIS BEARINGS.  HE GLARES AT THE TICK ANGRILY.

ARTHUR: TICK?  How many times have I told you to…  HE NOTICES ANTHONY FOR THE FIRST TIME.  ANTHONY IS GLARING AT HIM ANGRILY.  ARTHUR SMILES AND SPEAKS TO HIM IN A CONDESCENDING TONE: Um, say little boy, can you get your mommy or daddy to help us out?  We need to call a garage and…

ANTHONY INTERRUPTS: I don't think I like you.  You think bad thoughts.

THERE IS A SHORT PAUSE WHILE THE TICK INTERRUPTS

TICK:  Now there, what is there NOT to like about Arthur?

ANTHONY CONTEMPLATES THIS FOR A FEW SECONDS, AND COOLS HIS ATTITUDE SLIGHTLY.

ANTHONY:  Will you come home with me?

ARTHUR:  Um, sure young man, if it will get us to a phone…

ANTHONY: I wasn't talking to you!

ARTHUR LOOKS STUNNED AT THE YOUNG BOY.  THE TICK INTERRUPTS.

TICK: Now, now, I'm sure he didn't mean it!  Please lead on!

ANTHONY LOOKS ADMIRABLY AT THE TICK, AND LEADS THE PAIR ON.  FADE TO BLACK

FADE UP TO SCENE SHOWING PEAKSVILLE.  AS DESCRIBED EARLIER, THE TOWN APPEARS RUN DOWN.  THE TICK AND ARTHUR ARE BEING LED BY ANTHONY, WHO ARE OBSERVING THE SURROUNDINGS.  ARTHUR APPEARS WORRIED WHILE THE TICK IS GRINNING LIKE AN IDIOT.  HE DOESN'T SEEM TO REALIZE THE DANGER HE'S IN.  SOMEONE SHOULD WARN HIM FOR PETE'S SAKE I MEAN THE KID CAN READ THOUGHTS… EVEN MINE.  HE SHOULD BE DESTROYED I TELL YOU AND……….. AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After the narrator was wisely wished into the cornfield by Anthony's good thoughts, he was replaced by yours truly, who only thinks GOOD thoughts incidentally.

Really.

Anyway…

As the Tick and Arthur were walking down towards Anthony's house, Arthur was apprehensive.  As far as he could see, the roads were in a state of disrepair, the phone and electrical lines looked as if they hadn't been maintained in ages, and the people… they just appeared creepy.  The Tick, however, appeared unfazed by all of this.
"Um Tick…?"
"Yes?"
"Let's see if we can find a phone, and get out of here."
At that moment, Mrs. Freemont came out and greeted Anthony.
"Welcome back Anthony!  Did you have a good time today?"
"Yes Mom."
"Good.  It's good that you had a good time!"  It was then that she noticed Arthur and the Tick.  "Why who are these people?"
"This is the Tick.  He's my new friend!"
"It's good that you have a new friend!" said Anthony's father, who came outside.
"Yes, it's very good!" acknowledged his mother.
"Very good indeed!" said someone nearby.
"Yes, very VERY good!" said… well, you get the idea!
At this, Arthur was REALLY worried.
"Tick, lets just find a phone."
"Excuse us citizen!" said the Tick jovially, "my trusty sidekick and I  are in need of automotive assistance.  We need access to any helpful means of communication. "
"Automotive?  As in Cars?"
"I remember the cars."  Said Aunt Amy.  "I remember all sorts of cars.  Fast ones, large ones, many different cars."  She said as she rocked back and forth.
"Um yes."  Said Arthur. "  Anyway, we need to contact a garage so we can…"
"Oh, there aren't any garages.  Or cars. Not for a long time."
"But, how do you get around?  How do you get to other towns?"
"Oh, we manage.  All we need, we have here.  It's good that we don't need cars."
"Very good!"  said Mr. Fremont smiling nervously.
After a brief pause, Mrs Fremont continued.  "Anthony, I made you some hot chocolate.  Because I know you like hot chocolate.  And it's good that you like hot chocolate."
"Okay.  The Tick will have some too."
"Um, Tick maybe…" said Arthur following the pair.
"I DIDN'T INVITE YOU!" said Anthony with a raised voice.  At this all adults in the immediate vicinity looked apprehensive, as if something horrible was about to happen.  The jovial nature of the Tick however, calmed the tense atmosphere.
"Why thank you young citizen!"
"Please Mr. Tick, just call me Anthony."
"Okay, only if you call me Tick!" he said as he gently put his hand on his shoulder.

Moments later inside, Mrs Fremont was making everyone delicious hot chocolate, with extra marshmallows, which is how Anthony likes it.
Which is a good thing.
Really.
As they had settled down, Arthur managed to get Mrs. Fremont alone while she was making the hot chocolate.
Which Anthony Likes.
Which is a good thing.
"Um, Mrs. Fremont?  I really need to borrow your phone…"
"Oh, we don't have phones.  I thought I already told you." She said as she brought the hot chocolate out.
"But how do you…"
"HERE YOU GO ANTHONY!  HOT CHOCOLATE!".  She said while desperately trying to ignore Arthur.
Both the Tick and Anthony took a mug.  After taking a few sips, Anthony dropped it on the floor, where it stained the carpet.
"Ow!  It's too hot!"
"Oh my.  I'm SO sorry Anthony!  I'll make you another..."
"No.  I want to play with the Tick and his stupid friend."
“Um, he stained the carpet…”  said Arthur, ignoring the rude comment.
“It’s okay.  It’s looks MUCH nicer now!” she said with a glazed smile.
The Tick looked ponderously at the mess.  After a few moments, he grabbed a heretofore unnoticed can of blue paint, and started to pour it next to Anthony’s mess.
“I dunno, I think it could use a splash of blue.  What do you think Arthur?”
“TICK!  What are you doing?!”
“Well HE started it!” he said pointing to Anthony.
“Now now!  Everythings okay!”  said Mrs. Fremont.  “Why don’t you boys play outside!  I’ll make Anthony’s favorite dinner!  Hot Dogs!”
“Hamburgers!”
“Um, HAMBURGERS!  Of course!  How … how silly of me!”
The Tick observed her apprehensively for a few moments, then followed Anthony and Arthur outside.  As they left, Mrs. Fremont banefully looked at the mess, and blubbered loudly.

To be continued...